I'm Thankful for...Day 10

Today I am grateful for my disabilities.

My gratefulness is probably surprising.  It's easy to thank God for all the blessing and good things in our lives. But did you ever consider thanking Him for something that doesn’t seem like a blessing—such as a trying circumstance you want Him to remove or change? A grateful heart is most precious to God when, humanly speaking, we really don't want to give thanks.

The afflictions of this life are God’s powerful invitation into deeper intimacy with Himself. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word. You are good and do good; teach me your statutes.  I can count it all joy when I meet trials of various kinds,  for I know that the testing of my faith produces steadfastness. (James 1:2-3)

If we don’t experience difficulty, why would we need God in our day-to-day lives?  Troubles move us toward Christ. 

The apostle Paul was the greatest Christian who ever lived. Paul was given insight into the things of God that no other New Testament writer was given.  He even saw things he was not permitted to describe. So why should Paul, of all people, suffer affliction? 

2 Corinthians 12:7-10. 
  7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Real faith is not receiving from God what we want, but it is accepting from God what He gives. He is good and faithful, and so thank Him and praise Him anyway

 

 

 

Romans 8:28

A month of medicine...hospitals...etc.

I have been on so sporatically!  Why is that?  Well, like the title, I've been dealing with medicine, hospitals, etc.  Started with my Mom and an emergency (unneeded) appendectomy, and a 5 day stay at the hospital (I stayed for 2 of those).  Then Weldon got pneumonia....he is doing much better, but still coughing and now...now he is limping.  5 Days of giving him shots.  Then last week, took my Dad for a stress test, and today he had to have a Heart Cath. at a different hospital.  He is fine and will not need a stent.  Two days ago, my Boy had too much sun and ended up sick for an evening....also fine now.

Meanwhile, I got poison ivy back in April that has not gone away.  OK, it went away for about a week, then it appeared ALL.OVER...and in RANDOM places.  Seems I'm not just allergic (like most people) but highly allergic in that it's gone into my blood and the rash is appearing along my vein lines....yes, let's do it good!  I went through another round of steroids, finished them on Saturday....new rashes on Monday.  So I start another round tomorrow.

Good news is that I usually get lots done on the first three days!  Whee!  Making my list of what to get done this weekend.

So with this cheery post, I will post a really neat picture.  I went out to do chores only to see A HOT AIR BALLOON!  In the middle of nowhere!

Happy New Year!

Happy 2013!

Well, there is nothing like a new year to help you motivate yourself, eh?

My December was challenging, frightening and a blessing.

On December 2nd, while at the grocery store, I was suddenly struck with double vision.  After a hairy drive home, and an even hairier drive (in the dark) to the eye doctor, I quit driving.  It was not "visual".

Ensuing blood tests, visits to the neurologist, and an emergency MRI/MRA followed in the next few weeks.  I was blessed by many friends that came to our rescue and came all the way out to the farm to bring me into town as it was our businesses busiest time, and Man could only get away for limited times. 

There is still no definitive answer as to why I had the sudden onset of double vision.  Stroke and aneurysm has been ruled out.  My diabetes was suspected.  The most likelihood is that after a year of having dangerously low Vitamin D levels....I got a cow....and started drinking raw milk that my body could finally access the vitamin D.  At the same time, my doctor had me mega dosing Vitamin D.  Come to find out, it is a fat soluble vitamin (meaning that your body stores it as opposed to say vitamin C-water soluble) and you can become toxic...which I did.  Vitamin D levels are best between 40-90.

I was at 17 to 23 in all readings for a year and a half before.  Got the cow in July.  September reading was 20.  Mega dose started in October plus raw milk for 3 months..December 5th reading was 145.  So now I am only able to have very limited dairy from our sweet Bess, and am taking medicines to try to strip some of the Vitamin D out of my system.  Reading on December 20th was 130. 

In the week between the onset and the MRI results, there were many tears and fear.  Planning and readjusting of priorities. Praying on my behalf by more people than I can count.  Even typing this my heart clenches at the feelings it evokes. 

Some of my "jar" friends, generously came out to pick up the jars of goodness for the other ladies waiting for their weekly jars.  Meals were brought.  My boy was taken out by friends to have some Christmas time fun.  (Zoolights!!) I was blessed beyond measure. 

We have a new local church where we have been attending.  I was lifted up in prayer by the entire congregation (and now when I go, everyone knows my name even though I don't know theirs!!)  Our pastor's wife called every few days to see how things were.

I am humbled.  I am grateful.  I am still a bit freaked out.  And I have a sense of urgency that perhaps I should have had all along. This year is going to be about getting things in order.  Making sense of the chaos.  Of loving.  Of worshipping my Heavenly Father without measure.  

I've been blessed with crisis.

What to say....health updates

I've been sitting here most of the day...surfing for news on Sandy.  We don't have TV so this is how we get info.  And scanning Facebook.  Not much going on there.  Looked on Pinterest.  Even looked at the local news website.  When what I should be doing is updating my blog.  I have people concerned (Love YA!) that I haven't updated.

Last week, I had a major flare up of my Trigeminal Neuralgia.  And I mean BAD!  The doctor gave me some (great!) heavy duty pain killers and told me what I already knew...I just have to ride it out.  So here I am about 10 days later.  Feeling some better, but much weaker and more prone to pain.  UG!

So...as far as what's been going on....as little as possible! The last of the garden (except the Brussel Sprouts) have been brought in. All the tomato cages (110+!!) have been taken up and stacked in the barn.  40 bales of hay line the wall of the barn for the winter, along with 10 bales of straw. 

I've "officially" been terminated from my job.  I've been working with a person in HR to try to find something that I could do from home and/or part time in order to stay with the employer I've been with since 1998.  Unfortunately, my time was up and nothing was found...and sadly, I didn't find out from the HR person or anyone else...I received my COBRA paperwork saying "...due to your termination on 10/16/2012..."  Yeah, even when you know it's coming...still bites!  And it came right as I was having the major part of my attack, so....yeah, that's where am.  Having the worst time then finding out my insurance will be gone in 10 days if I don't pay $1100 MORE than I am currently paying>  $1400 per month!  Really!!  OMG! More than our house and my car combined and then another $200!  Not including dental or vision.  Only thinking about dental because Boy is 6 months into his Orthodontics (out of a 48 month plan...)Sigh.

 However, I just found out yesterday that I will finally have my hearing with the judge for SSDI on January 28th, 2013.  This kind of came as an answer to prayer.  I was trying to figure out what the next move should be....should I try unemployment, try to sell more stuff on Craigslist/eBay?  How do you legally (and morally) come up with another $1100 a month? Good question!  (if you know, clue me in)  And if this had come a month ago, I was feeling pretty ok, and was considering how I could maybe go back to work, not doing anything that requires a lot of thought or lifting or sitting or standing or talking or....heavy machinery. But now, I understand AGAIN why I and my doctors started down this road.  Yikes!  So, I have 3 months to wait to see if something can be done with my SSDI, otherwise....

I do have some "farmy" updates, but I will post them seperately, so you can just see all the fun stuff!

Quick Saturday Updates

So here it is the end of April...obviously it wasn't this month that I posted faithfully as promised in my 101 list...May...May will be the month!  (Oh, and there are updates on the 101 list-I'm slowly working on it as health allows.)

I wanted to do a quick list of what is going on here at the farm, in our little world, etc..(my BFF did a bulleted list and I thought...what a great idea!)

• Boy's play is today.  It is so cute.  He ended up being "Fozzy bear" from the Muppets.  I've had several mom's tell me that they knew he wanted to be Elmer, but that he was the perfect choice for Fozzy...."Hey..Ker....mit! Wakka, wakka, wakka"  They did it yesterday for the video cameras...today for an audience.
• My parents are back from their winter hideaway.  Glad to have them home.
• Easter was a quiet affair this year, because I got signals crossed.  So Boy cooked his first holiday meal and did a great job.
• I've had 3 more doctor appointments since I last posted.  Still have TN.  Still have depression aggravated by having TN.  Went to see another Dr last evening...changed meds yet again.  I'm sure they will figure out the right cocktail soon.  Another appointment next week (?) to be referred out to the neuralogist (sp?) as the attacks are still doing a number.
• We have two ducks sitting on nests.  They were the from the clutch of ducklings from last year.  We still have two drakes, but "Duck Stew" is going to be going to the processor soon along with a few of the hens.  I've never had duck, but have heard that Muscovy is the least 'greasy' of the ducks. 
• We are now getting about a dozen and a half eggs a day...along with a few random guinea and duck eggs.  But it is an egg hunt on a daily basis.  They have picked a few odd places around the farm that they all seem to like to lay, so we have to check the corner of  Boy's club house (horse stall), in the rabbit nest boxes (that are in storage), the corner under the rabbitry, oh and 2 out of the 12 nest boxes.
• We still have both kittens.  I took them out of the chicken brooder and put them in their own cage.  We I went back later, I apparently didn't latch the cage well because they were both gone.  After hunting through the barn (in the dark--only with a headlamp) I gave up and went to check on the baby chicks....only to find the kittens in the sleeping pile of chicks...Oh well!
• The garden is about to go in.  We've been working (in between the periods of pouring rain) to get all the stuff yanked out.  I'm going to try a different method of planting this year.  I was told by a local, that if you till the soil, it restarts the horseweed (otherwise known as ragweed!),  So at least in the tomatoes and peppers, I'll only till the rows where the plants are going and leave the rest untilled.  
• The root veggie patch will still be completely tilled.  I've chosen a new area to add corn.
• We are about to add some bigger animals.  We will be using Joel Salatin's model to have moveable pastures to grown broilers (chickens), a dairy cow and a few mowers (goats).  Possibly even a "salad bar beef" (Grass fed meat) cow, and a few pigs.  Also, we are scheduled to go look as some meat rabbits. (New Zealands this time.)
• This week will be getting the rabbitry bleached and sanitized for the new rabbits.
• Both the push mower and riding mower refuse to start and have taken the last spin, so we are looking for a cheap mower until the animals can get the fields under control.
• We have gotten a set of solar panels that we are excited to figure out!
• I have found some crazy ideas on the internet that I am going to see if I can make work here.  I'll keep you updated on this...but one of them involves lots of pop bottles, another a bunch of cans!  Good thing we like soda pop!
• We watched a DVD the other night, Food, Inc that reinforced our position of eating locally and in season.  I am still going to the grocery store...and I know our sodas are not healthy or local, but that seems to be the only thing I am buying there anymore.
• I changed the 1001 cupcakes on my 101 list to 800 jars canned.  And I have some unusual recipes for new jellies this year!

Well, my bulleted list is just as long as a regular post. And I'm not done!!  No, I'm not wordy at all!!  :)  I WILL POST EVERY DAY in May!!   Even if it is only short.  Tune in.

Updates, sans doctor

So, with my split second timing...I couldn't get it all done.  Surprised?  I didn't think so.

So I actually will be going to my Doctor on Monday.  The soonest she could get me in.  I've been approved off of work until April 15th, currently and they will re-check with my counselor on the 13th to confirm how nuts I am. :)  Before I write the next section...please know that I am resting...believe it or not.  I am still having 2-3 attacks a day, but I am able to manage because I can almost always lay down when they are occuring.  I haven't been able to establish if it is true, but I seem to have one when I am stressed or tired, which seems logical, but I haven't been able to confirm that there is a correlation because I also have them when I'm doing absolutely nothing....not even thinking...so

Boy had a really fun day yesterday.  His best buddy, N, invited him to play lazer tag for N's birthday.  Along with Boy, his other set of favorite freinds (the V Boys) were also invited.  The 5 boys had a BLAST!!  Then off to Wendy's for lunch...then more running around at gymtime.  Audition.  And Pizza for dinner.  Followed by watching The Muppet Show on YouTube!!

Going backwards, He also had a great day this past Monday while it was still warm.  We were invited by the V Boys to the zoo.  It became an impromptu field trip as two other families ended up inviting themselves along.  I think at one point there was 11-12 kids.  Then after the zoo, just us and the V family went for ice cream where the boys had "Oreo Volcanos!"

Last Friday was a surprise fun day for Boy that we decided counted for one of my 101 goals.  Here's a picture:

Doesn't he look SO grown up??  This is "Upper Falls" in Logan, Ohio.

Do you see "him" over our left shoulder?  Yup, the "old man" of Old Man's Cave in Hocking Hills.  Luckily it's not really a "hike".  It's more a walk with big paths, so not to worry, I am not straining myself.  But I took Boy "hiking" for the first time.  Some nice folks on the trail took the picture for us.

The news from the Dentist...

The GOOD news is that I don't need a Root Canal...
The BAD news is...that I don't need a Root Canal!

I really didn't WANT a root canal...but I was hoping that they would say..."You know all that pain in your face??Well, you have a bad tooth that we missed previously...(or fill in something) and you need a root canal.  Now all the pain in your face/head will stop."

Um...nope.  It's not my tooth.  So we are back wrestling with the reality of the Trigeminal diagnosis....NUTS!!

Hit or miss...

I realize that my blog of late has been very...hit or miss...mostly miss. For that I apologize and I am finally ready to fully explain. I've hinted at it before...my health is currently not great. I started feeling really bad back in November and went to the doctor only to be told I had a double ear infection...that was "solved", so we thought. Still my face hurt, my ear hurt, my temple, my jaw, my cheek...I went to the dentist. I went to the eye doctor. Finally, back in January...my family doctor came back from maternity leave...woohoo...I love my doctor, she is good! I received a diagnosis...Trigminal Neuralgia...


"Trigeminal neuralgia (TN), tic douloureux^[1] (also known as prosopalgia^[2], the Suicide Disease^[3] or Fothergill’s disease^[4]) is a neuropathic disorder characterized by episodes of intense pain in the face, originating from the trigeminal nerve. One, two, or all three branches of the nerve may be affected. It is, "one of the most painful conditions known to humans, yet remains an enigma to many health professionals."^[5] This pain may be felt in the ear, eye, lips, nose, scalp, forehead, cheeks, teeth, and/or jaw and side of the face; some patients also experience pain in their left index finger.^[6] Trigeminal neuralgia (TN) is not easily controlled and there is no cure.^[7] It is estimated that 1 in 15,000 people suffer from trigeminal neuralgia, although the actual figure may be significantly higher due to frequent misdiagnosis. In a majority of cases, TN symptoms begin appearing after the age of 50, although there have been cases with patients being as young as three years of age. It is more common in females than males.  FROM WIKI

Fun, eh?? Yeah, I thought so. I thought, you know it's been months since I had something wrong....let's go with...TN. Yup. No really. So we have embarked on how to live with this new development. I've had to take some time off of work so I can sleep at night like a normal person , EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT..so we can get the anti-seizure medicines to work and see if that will solve the problem. You would think that sleeping every night and not being at work would mean that I would blog more often...you would think...but you would be silly, huh! I am still having TN attacks or seizures, granted not 6-8 a day as before, we're down to 2-3. But everytime I have one it just knocks the stuffing out of me and I end up taking a nap. I think the first week I was home (last week) I slept about 18 hours a day.

So I'm into my second week of being off of work, and now starting to be able to function just a bit. I've been thinking quite a bit about my 101 list and how some things are now looking unrealistic. I thought I could work on my "Milly" cross stitch that I have been working on since...whispering...1990. Yikes. I have the work, I even have the chart, but now I can't find the thread. So I'm laying in bed not doing much, except thinking about buying baby chicks from the feed store.....

New Year..plus a month!

I know I say this quite a bit...but I'm sorry for not being a better blogger.  I've got reasons and excuses....Trojan Virus took over the computer....not much happens in the winter on a farm (like anyone believes that!)...I've had new health issues rare their ugly head,..work deadlines that apply to January only...power outages at home...snow...ice..not being used to typing on a netbook and ending up with 4tijdhsguiv epiuarci....blah..blah...blah.

So, here on the last day of the first month of 2011, I'm going to start off again.  For my birthday coming up, there is a shiny (refurbished) new computer being delivered to our door....TODAY!  Woohoo.  It's faster and more memory for pictures. 

First confessions....it has not been the best year so far.  We found out on the 1st that DH's fishing buddy passed away at a fairly young age.  On the second, a good friend and co-worker (and the Eskies puppy sitter when we went to Arkansas a few years ago) unexpectedly passed at the age of 43.   I discovered on the 7th that my earache/toothache/headache is none of the above and is likely a degerative thing that I will need to take meds and figure out.  DS has been fighting school even though I've tried to do some different things (like a unit study on Pizza, of all things)

I try to take a picture a day...and if not that...then a few a week.  For 2011 so far, I've taken 3 pictures total.  So to say it needs to get better....um yes, please.

With all that being said....I'm back.  My resolutions for 2011:

• The typical, lose weight & get fit.  This time I've got more realistic expectations and bigger motivators with my new health issues.
• Pay down debt (goal is 1/3-1/2)
• Blog 3-5 times a week.
• Examiner article 1x weekly
• Get organized...really or I (and DH) will lose my mind.
• Homeschooling caught up.

Along with those goals...it's opened up new topics for the blog now that there is not a lot going on outside.

I'm back!!

Sorry for the long delay! Lots of updates to get through, so watch for multiple posts in the next few days as I have the opportunities.

The surgery went well. The surgeon took out "three pieces" of disc that were resting on the nerve. At this point, I don't think there could be much of that disc left. I didn't handle the anesthesia very well, and was ill again. Apparently, I also had a difficult time waking up from it this time. I spent the night in recovery as they had run out of beds in the hospital. It actually was fine because I basically had a nurse to myself (I shared her with only 1 other patient.) She looked like Sarah Palin, so I was in good hands :) After returning home, I slept for about 3 days, and then started walking and recovering. My wonderful homeschool group brought meals 3 times a week, and a few of my friends came to clean. Talk about humbling. I'm such a messie, and to see the ladies that I respect seeing the "real" me....sigh. But, it's been such a huge blessing! Just this past Thursday, I had my 4 week update with the surgeon. He has given me permission to start being more active, walking in the pool, biking, and lifting MORE than 5 pounds! Yippee. Do you know just how >>little<< 5 pound is???? I couldn't even lift more than 1/2 a gallon of milk for a month! OH, and after the 1st surgery 2 years ago, I had lost all the feeling in my 2 littlest toes on the right. After this surgery, they woke back up!! Of course, I know I can feel them again because the littlest on feels like it is dislocated, but HEY, I can feel it! WOOHOO! And even that is getting better. So that's the update on my crazy back!

Another side bit of news, back in February, the Boy and I went to go get pizza. While waiting we read a little one page newspaper called "The Coffee News". It had a paragraph about they were taking 100 word essays on who you would nominate to win a Urban Active Membership. The Boy said that I needed a membership. (Ah, the frank honesty of a child). So I told him he could write the essay for his English class. He did. Fast forward to the Monday after Easter. We were so sad as 6 of our 7 day-old chicks had met their demise during the night (more in the chicken update), when we got a call that, "Your essay has won the contest!" I was (and am) very proud of my Boy. And now I have a membership to a gym so I can "get skinny" as Boy wrote. In his essay, he mentioned how I've been trying to get fit after the last surgery, and I had to tell the editor from the paper, how I was going in for a second surgery the following week. Luckily, they made the gift certificate good through June. So I could start after being release by the surgeon.

So I have about 4 weeks to get strong, and get the house in order before heading back to work. I've got tons to get done! But I kinda am looking forward to working again.