Sunday, September 16, 2012

I'm...I'm....chagrined!

cha·grin (sh-grn)
n.
A keen feeling of mental unease, as of annoyance or embarrassment, caused by failure, disappointment, or a disconcerting event.
 
Yep, that's me....not..


Anyway....I have not been blogging as I had hoped.  Here's the thing...if I could find a brain to blog app life would be awesome.  I compose so many posts as I am milking the cow (hands a bit busy) or driving to the city to help my mom (eyes kinda busy...ok hands too).  Or trying to fall asleep....mind not supposed to be busy.

This summer has gone by in a blurr....so much to do and I haven't done much of it.  We haven't gone swimming.  I haven't canned.  The farmer's market has been very neglected as has the garden.  I may have mentioned that my mom tore her rotator cuff (shoulder) completely off and had to have surgery to reattach.  I've been going down to town (37 miles each way) to help her and my dad three times a week.  No, not because I am an awesome daughter, but because I should and my parents do pay me for my time.  It's nice that I can take Boy with me and occasionally do a load of laundry while there.  They don't mind if I'm late or have to leave early.  And I love them, so I really do wish I were just an awesome daughter and could just do it for free.

That is 3 days a week that I'm basically not here on the farm.  The inbetween days I am frantically trying to get the other stuff done.  While I was on steroids, I could do it.  Now not as much.  Right now, I am in the midst of trying to get 7 loads of laundry done.  (And my washer currently leaks....I've been praying for it to be healed, but I think it's telling me that I need to get on Craigs to see if I can find another....) 

All the stuff on my 101 list that I wanted to get done with my kid didn't happen either.  The days of childhood are almost past and I have missed most of his childhood, either by working nights, being unconscience waiting for surgery, or just being busy with stuff that in the long run is probably not important.  Boy is growing beyond quickly.  He's over 5 foot tall (I think 5'4" now) and over 110 pounds.  Wearing size 8.5 mens shoes!!  He's not going to fit in the hammock with me for my 101 list!!

OK, enough complaining about what I cannot do and how fast life is passing by.  I went to the doctor on Friday.  (Both were late by 2 hours...I spent almost 8 hours sitting in waiting rooms or the office on Friday).  Found out that my vitamin D is still dangerously low.  Had another round of blood tests, new meds to try, a new doctor with still more blood tests and a follow up visit in two weeks....

We've been puppy sitting for the last 10 days...but he is going home tonight.  Ah...the buzzer on the dryer...be back soon....hopefully!
 

2 comments:

Niki said...

But in the midst of all of that you fit in this post - good job.
They don't have to be epic, just a peak at you. I'm impressed with how much you do get done all of the time.
I'm loving spending more virtual and phone time with you.

Anonymous said...

I am MOST positive that if you asked Boy how you're doing as Mom, he would tell you that you are awesome! Mama-Guilt is neverending, but it's usually all in our own heads, not the childs. We all love you dearly and are happy and appreciative with all that you give - be it action or thought! "You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are." –Max Lucado. & YOU are AWESOME!!!! XOXO Sheryl



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