Well, there is nothing like a new year to help you motivate yourself, eh?
My December was challenging, frightening and a blessing.
On December 2nd, while at the grocery store, I was suddenly struck with double vision. After a hairy drive home, and an even hairier drive (in the dark) to the eye doctor, I quit driving. It was not "visual".
Ensuing blood tests, visits to the neurologist, and an emergency MRI/MRA followed in the next few weeks. I was blessed by many friends that came to our rescue and came all the way out to the farm to bring me into town as it was our businesses busiest time, and Man could only get away for limited times.
There is still no definitive answer as to why I had the sudden onset of double vision. Stroke and aneurysm has been ruled out. My diabetes was suspected. The most likelihood is that after a year of having dangerously low Vitamin D levels....I got a cow....and started drinking raw milk that my body could finally access the vitamin D. At the same time, my doctor had me mega dosing Vitamin D. Come to find out, it is a fat soluble vitamin (meaning that your body stores it as opposed to say vitamin C-water soluble) and you can become toxic...which I did. Vitamin D levels are best between 40-90.
I was at 17 to 23 in all readings for a year and a half before. Got the cow in July. September reading was 20. Mega dose started in October plus raw milk for 3 months..December 5th reading was 145. So now I am only able to have very limited dairy from our sweet Bess, and am taking medicines to try to strip some of the Vitamin D out of my system. Reading on December 20th was 130.
In the week between the onset and the MRI results, there were many tears and fear. Planning and readjusting of priorities. Praying on my behalf by more people than I can count. Even typing this my heart clenches at the feelings it evokes.
Some of my "jar" friends, generously came out to pick up the jars of goodness for the other ladies waiting for their weekly jars. Meals were brought. My boy was taken out by friends to have some Christmas time fun. (Zoolights!!) I was blessed beyond measure.
We have a new local church where we have been attending. I was lifted up in prayer by the entire congregation (and now when I go, everyone knows my name even though I don't know theirs!!) Our pastor's wife called every few days to see how things were.
I am humbled. I am grateful. I am still a bit freaked out. And I have a sense of urgency that perhaps I should have had all along. This year is going to be about getting things in order. Making sense of the chaos. Of loving. Of worshipping my Heavenly Father without measure.
I've been blessed with crisis.